While psychotherapy often focuses on addressing serious issues like anxiety, depression, and trauma, many therapists have discovered the value of incorporating humor into their practice. Using laughter and levity in appropriate ways can actually help clients make progress faster and feel better. Humor is an essential component of my practice. I use it to help my clients open up about issues, especially very sensitive ones, and show them the therapeutic process is not a scary or intimidating experience. Most therapists agree the right amount of humor at the right time can enhance the therapeutic process immensely.
Here are some ways humor benefits the therapeutic process:
It builds rapport and trust. Sharing a laugh with your therapist helps form an emotional connection early on. Clients feel more at ease opening up when they see the therapist has a lighter side.
It reduces anxiety and tension. Humor and laughter trigger the release of “feel-good” chemicals in the brain like endorphins and dopamine. This can relieve stress and ease anxious feelings that often arise in therapy sessions.
It provides perspective. Seeing the absurdity or irony in a situation through humor can help clients gain a new perspective on their problems. This shift in perspective often loosens the emotional grip pf painful thoughts and feelings.
It strengthens resilience. The ability to laugh at life’s difficulties is a sign of emotional strength and resilience. Therapists can help clients develop this coping skill through using humor together in sessions.
It signals progress. As clients make progress in therapy, they often become able to joke and find humor in things that previously upset them. This shows they are gaining some distance from their problems.
It strengthens the relationship. Sharing laughs together helps build trust, closeness, and a sense of fun between the therapist and client. This does not mean they are making light of their problems or not taking them seriously. It’s the exact opposite; it creates an alliance that is critical for making real progress.
As a therapist, I am often faced with questions from clients about what their “diagnosis is”. And when I ask them why they want to know it, or how will knowing it help them, they usually don’t know. Don’t get me wrong, I think it is very important to have a clear understanding of what is going on and be able to convey that to my clients. But what I often see/hear are people using their diagnosis as a shield, or as a label to identify who they are. If they are actively in treatment working through their issues to have a better quality of life, and want to advocate for others to have the same, I am all for it. If they are just throwing these labels around without any intent on getting help, then I believe that behavior has a negative impact on those who truly want help. Talking about mental health issues has become more mainstream; but with that openness comes more negative attention.
People sometimes exploit those with mental illness as a way to intimidate or demean them into submission. This behavior prevents people who need help from getting help, because they don’t want to be given the negative label of “mentally ill”. Stigmatization of mental illness has been around since the beginning of time. Even with all the progress that has been made, it still remains today. Unfortunately, the mentally ill aren’t the only group that gets marginalized and stigmatized.
The LGBTQ+ community, African-Americans, Latino-Americans, Asian-Americans, Jews, Muslims, Women, and Mexicans are some of the more frequently targeted groups. These groups have been targeted so much that the very category they are under becomes a “label” for those that hate. It gets weaponized by ignorant, bigoted people by what they say and what they do to these groups. I won’t provide a lot of examples because this is supposed to be a blog post not a manifesto!
But the real issues we should be focusing on is answering these questions: WHY? Why do you say or do harmful things to people in these groups? Why does it matter to you what they do or how they are? Why are you so threatened by someone who is different from you?…Yes you are…And why do you think you are better than them? What makes you so special?
I believe that everyone should be responsible for the way they think, feel, and act. I also believe that many of the people who are preoccupied with hate and bigoted way of thinking are the ones who aren’t taking responsibility for their own lives. There is undoubtedly an undiagnosed mental illness that lives inside most of them. In order to have such hate, and waste so much time expressing that hate, there has to be some serious self-loathing going on.
And I believe none of the aforementioned groups (“labels”) are the problem, HATE is the problem. People who carry this much hate around with them are unhappy people. They take out their life’s failures and frustrations on marginalized people. That’s low-hanging fruit, dude. They already have been subjected to that hate and bigotry. How about focusing on your own life, and putting that energy towards improving your quality of life; without negatively affecting others. This isn’t an inverse proportional arrangement. Better yet, try and get to know people that are different than you. You will find they are more like you than not. And heck, you may even like them. If nothing else, you will learn something.
If I have described you or your behavior then you are in the HATE category…and yes, I just labeled you.
I just saw JAWS in IMAX over the Labor Day weekend (twice in fact!) Jaws is a classic horror film, and the first summer blockbuster when it was released in 1975. It tells the story of a homicidal, Great White Shark, (a Carcharodon Carcharias) who terrorizes Amity Island. For the first half of the movie, the shark was not seen. If it wasn’t for the music we wouldn’t even know he was on the prowl. The town council was in denial about the danger of this man-eater, “it was a boating accident”, or “a swimmer who just got tired and drowned”. Chief Brody knew better, Hooper declared this was no boating accident, that it was, in fact, a shark, and it would continue to kill people unless the beaches were closed and they did something about this shark.
But Mayor Vaughn said, “Amity is a summer town and they need summer dollars”. To further deflect the situation, he implored Brody to go after the vandal who painted a shark fin on their advertisement billboard, THAT was the real problem. Brody told him leaving the beaches open was like ringing the dinner bell!
Well, they left the beaches open, putting people in danger, all so the town council could line their pockets, come off like heroes, and get reelected. The mayor manipulated a council member to go into the water with his family to further demonstrate his political agenda. He minimized the danger and gave misinformation on camera about some swimmers who were injured when in fact they were devoured by a shark. It wasn’t until the next shark attack when the mayor’s son was within striking distance of the shark that he relented and closed the beaches, and hired someone to kill the shark.
This is Mrs. Taft, she’s an “islander” from Amity Island. She wanted the beaches to stay open so she could get her tan. It didn’t matter that the little Kintner boy was eaten by the shark off a raft like sushi on rice. It didn’t matter that more people could die, as long as she could have what she wanted.
This level of self-centeredness didn’t just occur in a mid-’70s horror flick, it exists to this day in real life. Politicians like Mayor Vaughn are running rampant in this country. Most if not all politicians lie at some point; some are subtle about it, while others flaunt it like they are quoting from a Bible…oh wait, some claim they are doing that as well. They spread misinformation to gain attention and keep it on them, not for any altruistic purposes, but to stir up divisive rhetoric and promote hate. It doesn’t matter if they haven’t researched the facts, they are banking on their followers not researching it either. And they don’t!
People take these politicians and talking-heads at their word because they strike a nerve, an internal fuse if you will; they provide an outlet for people’s fear and anger within themselves that they have limited coping skills to address on their own. It is easier to blame others for their insecurities and misfortunes instead of taking responsibility for themselves.
Politicians and talking-heads prey on these people not to help them but to exploit them; while lining their pockets, gaining followers, and getting elected. Once they get what they want, they don’t all of sudden become compassionate and give back, no, they double down because they have to maintain this persona. Some don’t even believe what they are saying but they know it gets results, and that is all that matters. As long as they are able to get what they want, their selfish behavior will continue. Now, there are some “less intelligent” politicians and talking-heads, who believe they can say or do whatever with impunity; whether it is spreading misinformation, inciting anger/violence, or threatening people.
In order for the greater society to feel secure and hopeful for the future, there needs to be checks and balances for those who challenge the rule of law and thumb their noses at democracy. Talking heads who report information with skewed viewpoints or misinformation should be labeled “entertainment”, not news. Politicians should be held responsible for their actions and should have term limits.
People need to feel like they are being treated fairly, and not marginalized because of their socioeconomic status, the color of their skin, sex, or sexual orientation. When these factors are exploited, it does nothing but suppress, oppress, and regress society. This leads to all sorts of mental health and addiction issues, as well as violent and other acting-out behaviors. This in turn makes our job as mental health professionals more complicated than it already is.
Our job as therapists is to assist our clients toward self-improvement and a better quality of life. Often times their outlook is negative or bleak. It is extremely important for us to show them a path that is positive and hopeful. While it is often emphasized there are factors outside of their control they need to let go of; it is sometimes a daunting task. Those outside factors can carry a lot of weight, making it difficult for people with mental health issues to come out from under them. They need those public representatives to provide the information they need to make the best-informed decisions for their lives. That is what they are there for! (Otherwise, they are entertainers and should be labeled as such)
We will continue to be there for our clients, educating them about their mental health issues, and empowering them to manage their outside world. All we ask is that everyone else does their part to be informed, be kind to their neighbor no matter who they are or what they look like, and reject hate and negativity.
The term “friend” has come up many times in my practice and in my personal life as well. I hear it all the time, “my friend ” this and “my friend” that. I may ask how long they have known that person, or how well they know that person (or vice versa) So then I ask (myself), is there a statute of limitations on being someone’s friend when the friendship is not in use? Does it need to be renewed every few years, or does it expire? Is that a lifetime title you are giving that person? What do they need to do in order to maintain that title? Do they need to make a phone call every few years to keep it active? Will a text message saying “Hey” do?
I don’t know why I find this fascinating but I do. This is just my opinion…and maybe I’m doing a little ranting (so if you have anything you want to contribute please feel free to comment!). I think sometimes we hold on to that “friendship” from our past for nostalgic reasons. Or is it just more difficult to let that relationship go?
But what is aFRIEND anyway? I believe Cookie Monster may have said it best, “Sometimes me think, What is friend? Then me say, Friend is someone to share last cookie with”.
Friend: definition from dictionary.com:
1) a person attached to another by feelings of affection or personal regard,
2) a person who gives assistance, a supporter,
3) a person who is on good terms with another; a person who is not hostile,
4) a person associated with another as a contact on a social media site.
The Oxford Dictionary defines a friend as: A person with whom one has a bond of mutual affection, typically one exclusive of sexual or family relations.
Here is the Urban dictionary definition of friend: A friend is someone you love and who loves you, someone you respect and who respects you, someone whom you trust and who trusts you. A friend is honest and makes you want to be honest, too. A friend is loyal.
I believe a friendship is both conditional and unconditional. It is conditional on there being a mutual benefit for both parties to be in the friendship and stay in the friendship; it cannot be beneficial to one party and not the other and be deemed a friendship. It is unconditional in one’s love and respect for the other person.
It is unconditional when one can step out of their own shoes and into their friend’s shoes without any preconceived quid pro quo (such as “I’ll do this for you if you do this for me”, or “I did that for you now you owe me”)…just being there for that person because they are in need at the moment, and awareness it will be reciprocated if needed. It is unconditional when you look forward to seeing that person and they look forward to seeing you; knowing that each other’s time is valuable and worth giving that time to that person. It is unconditional when you can go a long time without seeing or talking to each other, and when you are together it’s as if you were never apart. There is an immediate affection and appreciation for that person.
“Friends show their love in times of trouble, not in happiness” -Euripedes
When push comes to shove, in times of need, who are you going to reach out to? Your family? Your co-workers? Your neighbors? Someone, you only see at your kid’s baseball games? Or someone who understands you, has always been there, and would drop everything to be there. Can you identify who those people are? Is it one person? Maybe you don’t have that person. You’re not alone if you don’t.
Acquaintance
What is an acquaintance? By comparison, an acquaintanceis defined as: a person known to one, but not a close friend (dictionary.com) The Cambridge Dictionary defines an acquaintance as: a person whom you know but do not know well and who is therefore not exactly a friend.
The Urban dictionary defines acquaintance as: someone you know but not close to, a friend you don’t see that often or don’t feel close to, someone you don’t see outside school or work.
I believe an acquaintance is someone you know; it doesn’t matter how much you know about that person but you know them. It is somebody you can be friendly with, someone you share a mutual interest with. The difference lies in the nature of the relationship. This is not someone you would normally spend time with (outside of that mutual interest that brought you together). This is NOT an unconditional relationship; meaning sharing love and respect for each other, wanting to spend your free time with that person. An acquaintance could be a quid pro quo type relationship, like an exchange of services that benefits both parties. This could also be someone you were once friends with but the nature of the relationship has changed, such as a high school friend that you haven’t had contact with since the last reunion. You might label them “old friends” or “childhood friends” but they are really acquaintances now.
I think we may know many people, but we are really friends with a smaller percentage of them. It is even a smaller number when we consider who we label “close friends” or “best friends”. So why do we call these acquaintances in our lives friends? For one, simply, it’s probably just easier. Another possibility, unfortunately, is YOU believe they are your friend but they really aren’t. You are always there for THEM but they aren’t really there for you. When you talk to them on the phone (or text) they are the ones who dominate the conversation, or somehow turn what you are talking about into something about them. This is a lop-sided friendship.
This illustration below (waitbutwhy.com) gives you an idea of what I am talking about. The majority of people on our mountain are acquaintances (gathered there at the bottom), and as you go up the mountain (closer to you sitting on the top), the number of people are fewer and fewer. So we don’t have a lot of friends, we have a lot of acquaintances. Those with a mountain that is top heavy with people they consider friends probably are trying to be all things to all people, and should a take little time to focus on themselves (see blog post, “I-I Me-Me Mine: The Case for Being Selfish).
“He who hath many friends hath none”-Aristotle
“Friendship with oneself is all important, because without it one cannot be friends with anyone else in the world”-Eleanor Roosevelt
When I am working with clients who are struggling to cope with issues like anxiety (including social phobia), depression, relationship issues, family issues, addiction, etc, I strongly encourage them to reach out to their support network. They need to have the social support to help them get through these issues…they cannot do it alone. When my clients have a good support system, even if it is 1 or 2 good friends, their ability to recover or improve their self-esteem and well-being increases dramatically. It is just as significant negatively when the support network is not there. I will ask my clients about their friends, and who they feel close to, and get a sense of how successful they will be at meeting their goals. That doesn’t mean if they don’t have friends they won’t meet their goals, it’s just going to be a little more challenging.
What about all those acquaintances???
Sometimes we have acquaintances that we just didn’t do enough (or anything) to cultivate into a friendship. Sometimes we are too loyal to our current friend group that we don’t want to offend them by exploring other relationships. Sometimes we make negative assumptions about those acquaintances, when in fact they have friendship potential. But because of those assumptions, we hesitated exploring a possible friendship.
When you have a limited social support network it’s difficult to seek new people to be friends with. As we get older and have more responsibilities, we have less time to develop new relationships. Maybe we don’t need to acquire new people to develop friendships, but instead invest the time to boost up those “Tier 3, not really friends” category.
Having people in your life you like to spend time with can really boost your self-esteem. You don’t always need a close or best friend around to lean on, sometimes you just want to share a laugh with people you can relate to, with no strings attached…but they aren’t necessarily your friends! 😉
“I have learned that to be with those I like is enough”-Walt Whitman
May is National Mental Health Awareness Month. Beginning in 1949, Mental Health Awareness Month has put a spotlight on the importance of mental health and wellness. There is such a stigma attached to mental illness or mental health in general, that over 70 years of advocacy and education have yet to overcome.
While 1 in 5 people will experience mental illness at some point in their lifetimes, everyone has faced or will face struggles and challenges that affect their mental health. You don’t have to be diagnosed by a doctor or therapist to know if you’re mental health is compromised.
Anxiety: Intense, excessive, and persistent worry and fear about everyday situations. Some symptoms include: Fast heart rate, rapid breathing, sweating, and feeling tired.
Stress: Any type of change that causes physical, emotional, or psychological strain. Stress is your body’s response to anything that requires attention or action.
Depressive symptoms: Hopeless outlook, loss of interest or pleasure, fatigue, sleep issues, irritability, changes in appetite and weight, uncontrollable emotions, thinking about death.
Alcohol abuse: Use of alcoholic beverages to excess, either on individual occasions (binge drinking) or as a regular practice.
Cannabis Abuse: when a person cannot stop using marijuana (dependence) and/or exhibits withdrawal symptoms when not using (ie. irritability, mood and sleep issues, decreased appetite, cravings, restlessness.
I mention these mental health issues because they are the most common issues people are in counseling to address. Everyone has experienced at least one of these at some point in their lifetimes. It may not be the presenting issue they initially come into counseling for. Oftentimes, people come in to address relationship, work-related, anger management, school, or behavioral problems. It is through the counseling process that the above-mentioned mental health issues surface. Mental health issues are often the root cause of the conflict they are experiencing.
So if these are issues that all of us have or will go through in our lives, then why is there a stigma? The viewpoint of mental illness is people afflicted with one are seen as a “weakness”, laziness, “soft”, or a “snowflake”. This level of ignorance is astounding and dangerous. The lack of understanding, awareness, and compassion is the reason so many people struggle through life untreated. Why is someone with a mental health issue looked down upon, or seen as different than anyone else? People are embarrassed and hesitant to seek counseling because of the negative connotations mental health brings. Their reluctance to seek out treatment has led to worsening symptoms, self-medication through alcohol and drugs, and suicide. If the past few years have taught us anything, the loudest voices are often the most misinformed yet influential people out there. They express their ignorant views about mental health, ostracizing those who desperately need assistance and pushing them into the shadows. Then we hear all of the “thoughts and prayers” when something tragic happens.
The past couple of years have seen unprecedented levels of anxiety, depression, alcohol, and substance abuse issues due to all things Covid-19. The pandemic took a tremendous toll on everybody in every way imaginable. It is still wreaking havoc on people today and will be felt for years to come.
I am passionate about helping people with their mental health. I welcome discussing it with those who are, shall we say, less informed. It takes tremendous courage and strength to accept that one needs help with their mental health. When someone comes to me for counseling, I want them to know they made the right decision and that help is on the way.
If you are experiencing any of the above issues, please do not hesitate to contact a therapist. You will be thankful you did! We don’t bite! We are people just like you! We are here to assist you so you can have a better quality of life and be the best YOU that you can be!
Artist – Josh Groban | Lyrics – Richard Marx and Linda Thompson
Fly me up to where you are
Beyond the distant star
I wish upon tonight
To see you smile
If only for awhile to know you’re there
A breath away’s not far
To where you are
It has been over 7 years since my father passed away and it feels like it was yesterday…but also a lifetime ago at the same time. I have said that I live in an alternate universe since he’s been gone; nothing is the same, and nothing will ever be the same. I think about him from time to time, there are reminders of him everywhere. He left his imprint on this world, not just in the hearts and minds of myself, my sister, and our families, but in the many many people he helped over the years (he was a therapist too), and those he worked with. He entrusted in all of us, the promise that we would move on, better our lives, and try, as he did, to leave this world better than it was.
It has been a tall order, I’m not going to lie…Although I understand the responsibilities of being an adult, sometimes I don’t wanna be an adult! I want to complain to my dad!!
It isn’t like I need a lot of “adulty” advice but he was always the one who had the answers; right, wrong, or otherwise, he had the answer. Now I have to be the one with all the answers and I am finding that I don’t have them all. It seems like a waste, all that information he had is gone forever. I try to think of how he would’ve handled certain situations or how he solved that dilemma. Sometimes it works sometimes it doesn’t, but I try and learn from it.
~Food for Thought~
“Psychologists have clinically observed that overly prolonged grief in the bereaved usually signifies a poor relationship with the one who died.”
How is one supposed to move on after losing someone? That’s the $20,000 question, isn’t it? The first answer simply is “You just have to” You needto continue living your life and making it the best it can be; knowing that life is fleeting…you need to pass on what you have learned to the next generation (whether or not you have children). “You need to enjoy each day as if it was your last”, you’ve heard that one before I’m sure. Well, you know what? Sometimes that is just impossible to execute, sometimes I just want to do nothing and let the minutes and hours tick away. I mean, what is the point of all this anyway? They’ll find their way, they’ll move on just like I had to, right? Maybe, but why leave them so much uncertainty when their lives are just starting out?
What if I was able to provide some guidance or direction that I wasn’t given by my father. Maybe I DO know the answer, maybe I just need to keep working on myself, improving my quality of life, and passing on whatever I know while I can for as long as I can. There has to be some meaning to life and the only way to find it is to move on and move forward.
~Food for Thought~
“The reality is that you will grieve forever. You will not ‘get over’ the loss of a loved one; you will learn to live with it. You will heal and you will rebuild yourself around the loss you have suffered. You will be whole again but you will never be the same. Nor should you be the same nor would you want to.”
Today I reflect on my loss as I mourn the loss of a very close friend of my father’s. This man not only shared the same passions as my father and myself but also had a zest for life in general. He was very active right up until he was hit with a stroke. It came out of nowhere and stopped short any and all plans for the future…just like that. He left a tremendous legacy behind in all that he has touched but also left a void that can never be replaced. How does one prepare for this? Can you really prepare for this? Whether you are the one who has died or the one who is left behind, there really is no way to properly prepare for this inevitability. That is why it is so important to make the living days count, no matter how big or small. Live each day to make it better than yesterday. And although this day gives me pause, I know tomorrow I will pick up where I left off and live life the best way I can.
I thought this would be a good time to talk about some issues and problems that I know have affected each and every one of us at one time or another. I am willing to bet that 95% of you have had at least one of these four bad boys, Anxiety, Depression, Insomnia, and/or Pain. The other 5% of you are either in denial or self-medicating with enough alcohol or drugs to notice!
In my practice, I see people who have at LEAST one of these issues if not all of them, and it isn’t uncommon. Often times it is the combination of these issues that results in overwhelming dysfunction in people’s lives. These four issues feed off each other to create a swirling vortex of negativity, sending the afflicted person to a dark place…and often times taking other people (especially significant others) with them. This may lead to self-medication which could lead to addiction, which could lead to total self-destruction. Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you what I call the FOUR HORSEMEN OF THE APOCALYPSE OF MENTAL HEALTH!
PAIN:Pain comes from the Latin word “poena” meaning a fine or penalty. The medical definition of pain is an unpleasant sensation that can range from mild localized discomfort to agony. Pain has both physical and emotional components. The physical pain comes from nerve stimulation. These nerve fibers carry the information to the brain which in turn sends a signal back to the affected area in the form of a physical sensation. The emotional components of pain vary depending on the degree of pain but can include increased anxiety, helplessness, aversion, anger, despair, sleeplessness, and hopelessness. Does any of those sound like the other three horsemen?
Treatment for pain varies by the degree and duration of the pain. Acute pain issues like a cut or a headache can be addressed through readily available means like a band-aid or Tylenol. But chronic pain issues whether mild or severe, are the ones that take a toll on the afflicted person, wearing them down over time, and sometimes running out of treatment options to alleviate the pain. There are various medications you can take for pain, from acetaminophen (Tylenol) to NSAIDs (ibuprofen, naproxen, aspirin, etc) to antidepressants to anti-seizure medications to steroids to opioids. There are non-medication treatment options like physical therapy, psychotherapy, TENS (transcutaneous electrical nerve stimulation) therapy, meditation, relaxation techniques, visual imagery, biofeedback, hypnosis, hot and cold therapy, massage, acupuncture…to name just a few 😟😧😨😩😬. Have you had any of these treatments to alleviate your pain? Have any of you tried ALL of them? I have…
INSOMNIA: Insomnia comes from the Latin term “insomnis” meaning sleepless. The medical definition of insomnia is difficulty falling asleep or staying asleep, even when the person has a chance to do so. People with insomnia usually experience any of the following symptoms: fatigue, low energy, difficulty concentrating, mood disturbances, and decreased concentration at work or at school. A study done in 2011 showed that insomnia costs the U.S. workforce $63.2 billion a year in lost productivity. Some of the contributing factors included increased mistakes or accidents, frequent sick leave time, chronic absenteeism, substance abuse, and workplace violence.
The “self-medicating addictive crowd” factor in here: drinking alcohol and taking drugs to de-stress at night results in disrupted and restless sleep (or none at all), then excessive caffeine intake during the day to stay awake…then rinse and repeat day after day. If you are not self-medicating at night then you are up all night perseverating about various issues you are anxious or worried about, whether from that day or in anticipation of the next day’s stress. Either way, when you start your day you are compromised due to the lack of sleep, and vulnerable to some of the symptoms I listed above. I emphasize to my clients that sleep is priority #1; if you are not getting enough sleep you are not functioning at 100% “battery life”. If you are not functioning at 100%, you are at risk of the other 3 horsemen running you over! Never mind the fact that if you are sleep-deprived you probably look like a zombie in the apocalypse!!
I won’t get into the nitty-gritty about anxiety and depression here but I will enlighten you with some interesting facts and statistics about these very common mental health issues:
Anxiety disorders are the most common mental illness in the U.S. affecting over 40 million people over the age of 18, roughly 18% of the population.
Anxiety disorders are highly treatable yet only about 37% of the sufferers receive treatment.
People with anxiety disorders are 3-5x more likely to visit the doctor and six times more likely to be hospitalized for psychiatric disorders.
Anxiety disorders develop from a complex set of risk factors, including genetics, brain chemistry, personality, and life events.
11% of adolescents will have depression by age 18.
30% of college students reported feeling depressed which disrupted their ability to function in school.
$80 billion annual cost to the workforce from lost productivity and healthcare due to depression.
There is a difference between “everyday anxiety” and Anxiety Disorders. For example, worrying about paying bills, getting a job, a romantic breakup, or other important events are examples of everyday anxiety. Constant and unsubstantiated worry that causes significant distress and interferes with daily life is an example of an anxiety disorder.
The same can be said about “feeling blue” vs. Depression. Feeling down or “blue” is very common in today’s society. People are experiencing more stress than before, working longer hours, making less money, etc. So it is relatively normal if someone isn’t feeling 100% on a given day. What separates that from clinical depression is the severity of the symptoms and the duration of those symptoms. Typically you need to have these symptoms for a least 2 weeks, and the severity of the symptoms causes significant distress and disruption in the person’s life.
Here are some questions to ask yourself, and if you answer ‘YES’ to any of them you may want to consider talking with a therapist or doctor:
Is your mood interfering with your personal relationships or your job performance?
Have these feelings lasted for longer than two weeks?
Is your stress from a single, identifiable stressor (example: serious illness of a child) that does not have a clear end in sight?
Are you beginning to feel worthless or guilty about the situation?
Is the stress not allowing you to find happiness in other parts of your life?
(PsychCentral, “Depression vs. The Blues by Ben Martin, PsyD.)
Treatment for the Four Horsemen I specifically chose to discuss these four issues in this post not only because of their interrelatedness in human functioning but also for a treatment modality that specifically addresses them.
Cranial Electrotherapy Stimulation (CES): CES is a form of neurostimulation that delivers a small, pulsed alternating current via electrodes on the head (or earlobes). It is cleared by the U.S. FDA as a prescriptive non-invasive electromedical treatment that has been shown to decrease anxiety, depression, and insomnia symptoms significantly.
ALPHA-STIM
Alpha-Stim (AID) & (M): Alpha-Stim has taken CES, which had been developed in the 1970s, and used its waveform technology to produce a treatment modality that can treat anxiety, depression, and insomnia. The ‘M’ model combines this waveform technology with microcurrent electrotherapy to provide a non-invasive treatment for pain.
Shown above are the two treatment modalities that Alpha-Stim provides. The first one you see the electrodes attached to the man’s earlobes to treat the symptoms of anxiety, depression, and/or insomnia. The second picture shows a man using the ‘M’ model’s electrodes to treat the localized pain.
Alpha-Stim technology is safe, with no serious adverse events reported in 30 years of clinical use. It can be used as a stand-alone treatment, or as an adjunct to medication and counseling. In my practice, I use the Alpha-Stim with many of my clients, as an adjunct treatment modality during their counseling sessions. Some of them are concurrently on psychotropic medication which, according to studies, shows an increase in effectiveness (of the medication) with Alpha-Stim.
It is a 20-minute treatment, with the electrodes clipped to the person’s earlobes. The treatments are cumulative, so the more you use it the more effective the results. At the same time though, I have had a number of my clients report a decrease in symptoms after the first treatment. It may last for a couple of days, but still, it was quite noticeable to them.
For the treatment of Insomnia, using Alpha-Stim can increase your sleep time, reduce sleep disturbances, and improve overall sleep quality. Some of their research showed military service members with Insomnia showed an average increase of 43 minutes of sleep after just 5 treatments. In one study the subjects who rated their quality of sleep as poor dropped from 60% to 5% from the beginning of the study.
For the treatment of pain, Alpha-Stim’s research has shown a 71% decrease in severe pain after only 5 treatments. Chronic pain sufferers reported significantly improved functionality with Alpha-Stim treatments. This is most definitely an option to consider if you are experiencing pain issues, instead of taking the opioid pain medications that have become an epidemic in this country. I have used the pain treatment modality from this unit and did notice results; (I just didn’t keep up with it to see how I would fare with long term usage. Hey, I never said I was a good patient!! So, do as I say not as I do!! Don’t you hate that line?!?!).
Either way, if you have the opportunity…and the financial where with all (it costs ~$800.00 for the AID-which treats anxiety, insomnia, and depression, and ~$1200.00 for the M model which includes the pain management component), give it a try. Alpha-Stim is not covered by most insurances, but it should.
(Note: I am not a paid spokesperson for this product, I just really believe in the technology and have seen significant results with many of my clients. Go to http://www.alpha-stim.com to read all the information about this product and show it to your doctor or therapist to see if they would be willing to write you a prescription for it. You need to have a medical or behavioral health professional make the formal request for this treatment modality. I agree with this policy because I firmly believe this works best in conjunction with counseling, medication, or both.)
There are many ways to address and conquer the Four Horsemen, do not despair and do not give up. I just illustrated one of them. Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) and medication management are more conventional methods of treatment for these conditions. But new treatments are being developed all the time. Keep digging, don’t give up, and don’t give in; a better quality of life is out there for you too.
I wrote this blog post in November 2020 (see below) in the middle of fighting an unknown enemy, covid-19, while divisively deciding who the next President would be. We went from cheering on the first responders to vilifying them for perpetuating this “covid hysteria”; making everybody wear masks, and socially distance ourselves. Then came the vaccines… “it’s too new”, “it hasn’t been tested enough”, “it causes enlarged testicles”, “it makes you metallic”, “Bill Gates put chips in the vaccine”. I’m not putting that in MY body! (But you have no problem smoking, drinking alcohol, eating fast food). Every irrational conspiracy theory you can think of (and some you couldn’t even imagine), coming from everywhere including those supposedly tasked with bringing us the REAL news, not that fake news stuff!! People would believe THEM but would immediately dismiss the scientific community, I mean what do THEY know?!
Fast forward to 2022 and where are we? Well, we are making our way out of this pandemic, finally, but we still have people who are claiming their freedom has been taken away. Why? They want to go to a restaurant or an indoor event but they can’t because they need to show proof of a vaccine, or in some cases, they still need to wear a mask. THAT’S taking your freedom away? If you want to know what “taking my freedom away” is just take a look at Ukraine.
-Sp
(From November 4, 2020)
Are You Proud To Be An American?: Patriotism, Nationalism, Hatred, And Fear
This year has brought unprecedented levels of stress, anxiety, trauma, depression, addiction, suicide, and hundreds of thousands dead, and millions infected with a disease that has no cure as of yet.
Our lives have been upended, having to accept this new reality for the foreseeable future. While difficult, it is not insurmountable. But we have to do it together. The time for divisiveness is OVER. It is not about us vs. them or me vs. you or blue vs. red. We as a people, Americans, are way better than this, and it is time we as a country recognized it and started acting like it. It shouldn’t have to take a traumatic event to bring us together, but after 9/11/2001, that’s exactly what everyone did. We were all Americans and treated each other kindly and with respect. Now we are in the middle of multiple crises, and what are we doing? Taking sides, pointing fingers, and spewing hate the likes we have never seen in decades, if not centuries. Everyone must take responsibility for the role they play in perpetuating a problem…
That problem is HATRED…hatred for people who are different than you, hatred for those who disagree with you, hatred for your fellow neighbor, hatred for what it ACTUALLY means to be an American. Unless you are indigenous to this land, we are ALL IMMIGRANTS!! We’re ALL DIFFERENT. We are not NATIONALISTS, we are PATRIOTS. We should love our country and everyone in it. No one is better than anyone else.
Patriot: a person who loves, supports and defends his or her country and its interests with devotion. a person who regards himself or herself as a defender, especially of individual rights, against presumed interference by the federal government.
“Patriotism means to stand by your country. It does not mean to stand by the president or any other public official” -Theodore Roosevelt
Nationalist: a person who strongly identifies with their own nation and vigorously supports its interests, especially to the exclusion or detriment of the interests of other nations. Inseparable from the desire for power.
“The nationalist not only does not disapprove of atrocities committed by his own side, but he has a remarkable capacity for not even hearing about them” -George Orwell
“The difference between patriotism and nationalism is that the patriot is proud of his country for what it does, and the nationalist is proud of his country no matter what it does; the first attitude creates a feeling of responsibility, but the second a feeling of blind arrogance that leads to war.” -Sydney Harris
Those who embraced this hatred aren’t brave, strong, or patriotic…they are lost and scared. Instead of getting help with their anxieties, they become angry, and spread hatred, believing that will help make their fear go away. NEWS FLASH!! It doesn’t! (And that’s not fake news!) They will just keep feeding their hatred as a way of life…until what? To what end? What is the benefit? There is none…
Fortunately, there is help for everyone who is experiencing anxiety and fear. Whether or not you espouse hatred, therapy can help you. Explore the underlying reasons for your anxiety and fears, especially if you are one who has let it manifest itself into hatred. Therapists and all helping professionals (doctors, nurses, police officers, firemen, etc.) ALL want to help people no matter who they are or where they come from or what they believe, or who they love. EVERY AMERICAN should feel like they can do the same.
S.Pace's PsychoHealth Blog 